When Star Wars and Seagulls collide

Prepare to have this stuck in your head. Just remember, in space - no one can hear you squawk.

The backpack part and refrain may be the best parts.

I've loved their music remixes since "Morning Dew," if not the original "Black Friday" remix.

Available on Amazon here

Finally watched the pilot to Westworld. Thoughts with minor spoilers...

I largely enjoyed it as the first chapter in an ongoing story, so the slower pacing was tolerable. It did get particularly slow in the middle, but what can you do.

Easily the worst part of the episode was the music - the title sequence felt like a Game of Thrones rip-off (not surprising), the general score was whatever, and then the crowning achievement of crap: the cover of "Paint It Black." It was a bad cover and didn't fit the scene (felt forced). It's like they were going for Battlestar Galactica's "All Along the Watchtower" cover and failed miserably.

Also, there were some stupid (world-building) moments, which presumably will be built on but I'll call out now:
1. The engineer (is that her job?) lady kissing the whore IN THE WIDE OPEN. Unless your job is to QA the bots like that, you're going to be having a talk wtih your supervisor. Skipping the kiss and teasing her intrigue would have been a better way to go.
2. The dialogue writer is shitty with dialogue. This is a multi-million if not billion-dollar experience and they get a hack writer as the lead?
3. Similarly, why introduce a coup/climb the corporate ladder/nefarious ulterior motives for Westworld in the first episode? That scene could have been cut to shave time and placed in a later episode. Let Jeffrey Wright and Anthony Hopkins fuck up a bit more.
4. Back to the business of Westworld - this is a huge, highly resourced entertainment/electronics company and they do no real QA before releasing updates to their consumers? What in the fuck?!

What self-respecting company wouldn't have a beta environment with beta testers to test out the potentially dangerous and life-threatening robots. Maybe if they want to save expenses, but if there are fatal flaws and the company gets shut down, they have no business. I thought Jonathan Nolan had gaming experience...

A couple quick things I liked:
1. The "programmed" state of some of the narratives, with branching options. It was interesting to watch how the robots behaved when new elements would be introduced (e.g. robots being distracted or humans interfering). This helped to show how game-like the world is.
2. The fly narrative. A simple tactic, nicely executed.
3. Ed Harris as the Man in Black. Dig it.

I am definitely curious about the show and look forward to watching the next few episodes. This has me intrigued in a way that Preacher did not.

The pilot gets a solid RECOMMENDATION as a very good episode, just shy of greatness (though it may be arguably great).

Quick assessments of the Princes in Disney Princess movies

For fun and per request from a friend, and as a "sequel" to this column, here are some quick assessments of the Disney Princess movies with regards to their messaging based on the Princes (apologies to my Disney fan friends):

Note: I haven't seen some of these movies in awhile, so these may be off...

Snow White - You only need two skills in life: singing and kissing. You don't need a name, though, but you do get to embrace your necrophilia. Also, be handsome.

Cinderella - Get her some shoes and you'll win her heart. Also, money and charm don't hurt. And be handsome.

Sleeping Beauty - Sometimes your parents can pick out a hottie for you, especially when you come from money. Also, use that money to learn how to use a sword, because you're going to have to fight to protect her. And be handsome.

The Little Mermaid - When the world is at your fingertips, you can wait for the right girl to come to you. Through song (avoid the silent ones). Also, use your money to learn boating. And be handsome.

Beauty and the Beast - It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, as long as you have plenty of money and servants to help you find a pretty girl who sees the inner you. An inner you who is handsome (with money and servants... and a library).

Aladdin - Lie and manipulate your way to success, until it backfires and you realize being true to yourself is the way. Of course, getting REALLY lucky and having the support of Robin Williams certainly helps. Also, being cute is the poor man's handsome.

Pocahontas - When in doubt, Mel Gibson your way out

Mulan - Be a Man. You must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, yet mysterious as the dark side of the moon. Also, have no respect for women (unless they act like men (and kinda look like one)). And be handsome. And manly.

Princess and the Frog - Don't entirely remember... When you have money (or don't and pretend to), it's OK to be a manipulative, obnoxious and entitled brat and use women for your pleasure/survival. Also, be handsome.

Tangled - Eh... this is taking too long, so... work your way up the ladder of life, keep some secrets, be handsome.

Brave - N/A

Frozen - Be an evil conniving bastard who can sing, dance and has money, or be a total clown dimwit. Either way, have looks.

Moana - Be The Rock

Feedback is welcome in the comments.

Quick assessments of the Disney Princess movies based on the lead

For fun, here are quick assessments of the Disney Princess movies with regards to their messaging based on the lead protagonist (apologies to my Disney fan friends)..

Note: I haven't seen some of these in awhile, so they may be off (friend corrections are noted below the list)

Snow White - Dated and no

Cinderella - Being oppressed sucks, but wishing for a man to save you vs taking your own actions? No (*friend correction below)

Sleeping Beauty - HELL NO (yay being molested while sleeping)

The Little Mermaid - Fuck you, Ariel, you entitled child. Keep changing yourself for your man more, you stupid piece of shit

Beauty and the Beast - Stockholm syndrome. No (*friend correction below)

Aladdin - Lie and manipulate your way to success, until it backfires and you realize being true to yourself is the way. Of course, getting REALLY lucky and having the support of Robin Williams certainly helps

Pocahontas - Eh... there's a degree of empowerment, but it's for the purpose of romance... Also historical inaccuracies

Mulan - Being empowered, yes and breaking flawed norms/traditioms. This is good

Princess and the Frog - Indifferent/don't remember (*friend correction below)

Tangled - Largely OK? Characters seem independent, yet also goofy/dorky

Brave - Not too shabby. Wanting independence, with a focus on family bonds

Frozen - Eh... the sisterly message is great, but both characters are pretty bad

Moana - TBD

I'm very curious about Moana, particularly since there's apparently no romance element.

Friend updates
When I first posted this list, a few friends had pointed out some corrections for the following (these are verbatim and definitely welcome feedback; the above were admittedly flawed quick thoughts for fun):

*Friend 1: Princess & The Frog - work hard to make your dreams come true - you can't wish on stars - but don't let the joys of life pass you by. Best Disney Movie.

*Friend 2: That is a misunderstanding of Cinderella on a core level. She was not waiting for anyone, let alone for a man, to save her. She was trapped in an abusive household, and she wanted a night off of being a slave to her family to be happy - and equal - for once. She did take her own actions whenever she could, and then used the support system she had when she couldn't. Excellent.

*Friend 2: Ariel wanted to be human long before she met Eric, and Part Of Your World is about how she, existentially, feels complete among humans and not merpeople. Eric gave her a focus point, but she would have made that deal sooner or later. And the thing is... she didn't change for Eric at all, really. She changed her body for her, but her personality remained exactly the same. Eric fell in love with her genuinely. (Sidenote: the entire story makes more sense once you realize it is a metaphor about class relations (HCA original) or a queer coming out story (Disney). Can elaborate on that one.)

*Friend 2: Beauty and the Beast is definitionally not Stockholm Syndrome, as Belle never considers the Beast an authority figure and does not align herself with him over the course of the movie until he changes his behavior. In fact, because Belle is actually in charge in their relationship and the Beast aligns himself with *her*, you could make an argument for Lima Syndrome, if you wanted. But that still rests upon the Beast holding her captive, and it's established very quickly that "holding her captive" is a flimsy formality in their relationship. Belle does whatever she wants from day one.

*Friend 3: Beauty and the Beast is in no way Stockholm Syndrome. Belle is actually one of the strongest feministic characters Disney ever created. She is intelligent in a world that only respects brutality, she is kind and loving, she fights WOLVES head on, and every action she does for the first two acts of the movie are to protect her family and her town. The third act was to literally break out of a prison cart and prevent a mob from murdering an innocent man.

TL;DR: Belle's a badass and a nerd, and easily one of the greatest female characters created.

Also, debunking your Stockholm Syndrome: http://thefederalist.com/2016/08/10/7-reasons-beauty-and-the-beast-is-not-a-tale-of-stockholm-syndrome/

*Bonus: Here is the version with regards to messaging based on the Princes.

Jaws (1975) movie review

For a film from 1975, Jaws still largely holds up very well. It has a pretty classic structure that can be found in films made after, such as Predator (which I'd argue perfected the idea in this movie) and Jurassic Park (which was Spielberg's SIGNIFICANTLY improved attempt).

A threat falls upon an area, with a key person trying to rectify the threat, while facing some opposition from the local community, which allows for some solid social commentary on greed, with a cartoonish-yet-human mayor (the suits!). It then comes down to a few people taking on the thread heads-on. It's a very reasonable structure that mostly does what it needs to do.

The only real flaws stem from the films tonal shifts. Though starting out as a potential horror movie, the film then turns into a bit of a buddy/adventure movie. While the comedy and human bonding during this portion is excellent, the shark-chasing parts with the more upbeat musical score took me out of the movie. By the time it got to the ending, a good degree of the drama and tension was removed. Combined with the rather abrupt editing (particularly the death of Quint and actual conclusion by Brody), it felt rushed.

Then again, when viewed as a product from the 70s, leniency can be given.

Jaws was absolutely a precursor for both Spielberg and Williams, which is probably the most special reason to watch it, at this point. With Williams score, he has hints of so many of his big movies to come: Superman, Raiders, Star Wars, Last Crusade and more.

Best parts of the movie:
1. Human dialogue throughout (it's really good)
2. Quint
3. Richard Dreyfus
4. John Williams' score
5. Roy Scheider (his understated performance may be slightly higher)

Worst parts:
1. The occasional awkward editing
2. Some tonally out-of-place Williams music

It's a classic for a reason and RECOMMENDED at the very least from a film history perspective. It's not perfect, though, so expect some elements to be a bit dated, such as a relatively even or slow pace.

Clue remake casting

Slightly old news that Clue is being remade (which I'm fine with), so here's my current casting thoughts, which were actually made with friends in the summer of 2015:

Mustard - Nick Offerman
Peacock - Kristen Wiig
Scarlett - Tina Fey?
White - Julia Louis Dreyfus
Delivery lady - Kristin Chenoweth
Yvette - Kate Upton
Green - Robert Downey Jr or Aziz Ansari
Wadsworth - Tom Hardy, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio or Colin Firth
Mr. Body - ?? (Christoph Waltz?)
Plum - Jonah Hill? Maybe Chris Pine

Thoughts? And yes, while the above cast is fairly white, non-white actors are 100% welcome (these were just quick-thoughts from more than one year ago). Stephen Root and Kate McKinnon would also be great additions.

The World is Made of People

Controversial (not really?) rant of the day:

Can we please stop saying how either "politics" or "the system" is broken? That oversimplifies the actual issue:

People don't know how to communicate or work together

If everything is a social construct, which it largely is, the root of that is PEOPLE. People have created basically everything on this planet. It requires people working together to do so.

If something isn't working, it's more than likely because the people aren't working together, for potentially a variety of reasons.

Politics isn't working? Perhaps because certain people are stalling the process. Perhaps because certain people don't know how to listen or keep an open mind. Perhaps because people don't know how to communicate or do what's best for the future/collective rather than just the present/individual.

This works similarly to any large organization. Whether it's a corporation, a city, a school - any sort of collective where people are unwilling or unable to work together will stall progress.

People are the greatest resource on this planet. If we can learn to work together, then we can achieve almost anything.